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Losing friends during spiritual awakening is hard but it’s part of the process. The further you progress through your awakening, the more you will understand that things happened exactly as they were supposed to.

I feel you…

Are you going losing friends during spiritual awakening?

Do you feel alone?

Are you wondering if it will always be this way?

During my spiritual awakening I lost my best friend, my husband, and almost all of my close family, so I know what it feels like to be lonely during spiritual awakening.

You have this crazy thing happening to you and at the same time you’re cast adrift.

All those social structures you used to rely on are gone, and it’s easy to feel abandoned and alone.

Don’t worry, I promise it’s not forever.

There’s good reasons why you lose friends and family during spiritual awakening, as I’ll explain in this post.

Losing friends during awakening is not just about outgrowing them

Most people writing about this subject will tell you that you need to move on from people because you’ve grown and they haven’t.

And that is part of the truth.

But it’s not the whole story, as I’m going to explain.

Let’s flip the question on its head.

Let’s ask, not why you’re losing friends and family, but why they were there in the first place.

Your life plan includes other people

Before you incarnate on Earth, you make a plan for your life, and you make this plan in conjunction with other souls.

Because no-one’s an island! You need people to take this journey with you.

So who are these other souls?

They come from four main groups, which are as follows:


Group 1: Your soul family

These are people who descend from the same branch of the soul family tree as you.


Group 2: Your soul group

Your soul group is made up of people you’ve worked with before, in life after life.

You’ve been teamed up with because you have complementary skills.

These people are hardly ever from the same branch of the soul family tree as you, but they’re people you love and trust.


Group 3: People you share karma with

These are people that either you owe, or who owe you, from previous lives.

You incarnate together in subsequent lives so you have an opportunity to redress the balance.


Group 4: People from the opposing team in the game of life

These are people that have been positioned around you to try to prevent you achieving your mission.

(Watch the video below to find out more about the Game of Life.)

So, who are the people closest to you?

Surprisingly, the people closest to you are hardly ever from your soul family.

That’s because you tend to be similar, so in terms of making sure your group has a good mix of skills, it doesn’t make too much sense to pair you up.

It can happen, but it’s rare.

In fact, the people you’re closest to tend to come from the other three groups.

So you can already see something interesting here.

Just because you’re close to someone in this earthly dimension, doesn’t mean you’re close to one another at soul level.

Instead, it could be that there’s karma to repay or they’re a ‘malicious actor’ whose intention is to throw you off course.

In these cases, it’s guaranteed that they only ever intended to stick around until they’d done what they came to do.

Breaking away from parents and partners


This is true even of parents, in fact, it can be especially true of parents.

I’m conducting a survey of spiritual awakeners right now, and a staggering 89% say they had a difficult relationship with either their mother or father.

(Find out more about the spiritual awakening survey in this blog post.)

That’s an indication that one of their parents may well have been placed in their environment by a team wanting to throw them off track.


People who are going through awakenings are also often paired with ‘keepers’ (that’s the term used in the higher dimensions).

A keeper provides a stable environment while the awakener’s going through the early to mid stages of awakening.

This is usually up until just after the spiritual Dark Night of the Soul.

The keeper is often a partner and this relationship tends to break up in the later stages of awakening.

Even if you’ve been together for a long time and were once madly in love.

Keepers often come from outside of your closest soul group and have karma to repay.

That’s one of the reasons why, as you progress through your awakening, you often start to see your partner with completely new eyes.

You realise maybe you don’t have so much in common after all.

It’s very common for romantic partnerships to end when one half is going through a spiritual awakening.

Losing friends during spiritual awakening is planned and intended

The friends and family you lose during your awakening were only ever planned to be with you for a specific period of your journey.

When the time is right for you to move apart, the universe makes it increasingly difficult for you to remain close.

It can engineer arguments and rifts, or make one party – including yourself – behave badly, so the relationship breaks down seemingly irretrievably.

If this has happened to you, try not to feel sad about it, or guilty if you feel you could have done more to save the relationship.

You couldn’t.

It was planned for you to move on.

The longer you try to preserve the relationship, the worse things get.

One way or another, the universe is going to split you up!

You can think of groups of souls incarnating together as a series of giant cogs turning.

These social circles are dynamic, things change, and that’s correct, it’s how it’s supposed to be, because your needs change during your journey.

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How does the does the universe know it’s time to move you away from certain people?

This is where the idea of growth comes in.

During your awakening you’ve done a lot of work on yourself and you’re also integrating with your higher self which has raised your vibrations.

Like calls to like.

So as your vibrations increase, and the vibrations of those around you stay the same, there’s a dissonance.

The frequencies are no longer harmonious, and the universe is always seeking harmony and balance.

It’s going to steer you towards people and situations which are more aligned to your new energetic pattern.

All this feels very difficult, because the ‘human’ part of ourselves likes stability and resists change.

But if you take a really good look at these relationships you’ve lost, you’ll often see that you weren’t giving each other what you needed by the end.

There’s 3 reasons why losing friends during spiritual awakening is a good thing

This might seem like a strange statement, but I promise you that losing friends during spiritual awakening is beneficial.

Leaving relationships behind that you’ve outgrown is good for you for three main reasons.


Reason One:

 Firstly, losing friends during spiritual awakening allows you to isolate during its deepest throes.

During the Connection stage, the Spiritual Dark Night of the Soul, and the first part of the Advanced Learning stage, Isolation is important.

(Read this blog post to learn about the 7 stages of spiritual awakening.)

Your vibrational rate is going up and down like a yo-yo and doesn’t stabilise until the later part of Advanced Learning.

This makes you super-sensitive to other people and the external environment, and not always in a good way.

It can all get too much.

You also have a very different understanding of the universe and what our lives are supposed to be like.

You realise we’re all one and everything is founded in love.

But the majority of people around you haven’t caught up to that idea yet.

And when you’re in the unstable state which occurs in these 3 middle stages of awakening, that can be upsetting.

So being isolated at this time is actually a blessing in disguise.

Plus you need to rest – a lot.

Your system is being upgraded, so sleep is vital.

So again, being removed from your usual circles, makes space for you to focus on self-care.

Reason Two:

The second reason that losing friends during your awakening is beneficial, is it allows you to focus on discovering your purpose.

That means turning inwards.

You need to understand who you are fundamentally as a person, dig deep into your soul nature and uncover some of your past life history, so you can work out why you came.

(Read this blog post to discover how to find your purpose.)

You have to remember that these other people around you are not waking up, they’re just getting on and living their lives in a human way.

But you will have reached a stage where you don’t want to go to the pub, or stop for a burger, or go to the club.

Because you understand that these are just temporary pleasures which don’t contribute anything to your purpose.

And in the mid to late stages of awakening, you become very purpose driven.

So being able to leave all of that behind allows you to focus.

By the way, it’s important that we don’t fall into the trap of feeling we’re ‘better’ than other people because we have this new found awareness.

(This trap is called ‘spiritual arrogance‘.)

We’re not, we’re just on a different type of journey.

Reason Three:

The third reason it’s helpful to lose friends during awakening is that you’re making room for new ones.

In fact, you’ve probably observed that you’ve become closer to a couple of people who were previously only on the outskirts of your circle of friends, since your awakening.

These are members of your soul group, who were waiting in the wings, for you to be ready for them.

It’s never the people you think!

They may well also be going through a spiritual awakening, or at least be spiritually minded.

Or perhaps you’ve made a couple of new friends who are more vibrationally aligned to you.

If you haven’t met them yet, they’re just around the corner, or maybe they’ve already made an approach but you didn’t follow up.

(You should look into that.)

The universe rarely leaves us completely isolated

The universe almost always makes sure there’s someone to support us at every stage of the journey, unless it’s teaching us a lesson about being alone or self-sufficiency.

Sometimes there’s a bit of a crossover period when old friends have fallen away but the new ones haven’t arrived yet.

And that feels particularly hard, especially because this extraordinary thing is happening to you, and you have no-one you feel you can share it with.

So if you’re feeling completely alone right now, rest assured, it’s temporary.

What to do if you’re feeling alone during spiritual awakening

If you’ve lost friends and family and new people haven’t arrived in your life yet, there’s a couple of things you can do.

First of all, have faith.

Believe that the universe has your back and you will find your true tribe soon.

Secondly, put it out there. 

Ask the universe to send you support

If you’re awakening, you’re a powerful manifester!

This is an opportunity to test your skills.

Thirdly, use your situation as an opportunity to understand how soul groups and earthly relationships work.

When you look back at the friendships you’ve lost, can you see a pattern?

Was there karma there?

Learning how to interpret the dynamics between yourself and the people you meet on your journey will help you in the future.

I promise you, however much it hurts now, one day you’ll be able to look back and see that everything happened exactly as it was supposed to.


Have you lost friends and family during your awakening? Please tell me about your experience by leaving a comment below.

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I'm a channel for The Council of Light and Source Energy, and coach awakeners all over the World