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Losing friends during spiritual awakening is hard but it’s part of the process. The further you progress through your awakening, the more you will understand that things happened exactly as they were supposed to.
I feel you…
Are you going losing friends during spiritual awakening?
Do you feel alone?
Are you wondering if it will always be this way?
During my spiritual awakening I lost my best friend, my husband, and almost all of my close family, so I know what it feels like to be lonely during spiritual awakening.
You have this crazy thing happening to you and at the same time you’re cast adrift.
All those social structures you used to rely on are gone, and it’s easy to feel abandoned and alone.
Don’t worry, I promise it’s not forever.
There’s good reasons why you lose friends and family during spiritual awakening, as I’ll explain in this post.
Losing friends during awakening is not just about outgrowing them
Most people writing about this subject will tell you that you need to move on from people because you’ve grown and they haven’t.
And that is part of the truth.
But it’s not the whole story, as I’m going to explain.
Let’s flip the question on its head.
Let’s ask, not why you’re losing friends and family, but why they were there in the first place.
Your life plan includes other people
Before you incarnate on Earth, you make a plan for your life, and you make this plan in conjunction with other souls.
Because no-one’s an island! You need people to take this journey with you.
So who are these other souls?
They come from four main groups, which are as follows:
Group 1: Your soul family
These are people who descend from the same branch of the soul family tree as you.
Group 2: Your soul group
Your soul group is made up of people you’ve worked with before, in life after life.
You’ve been teamed up with because you have complementary skills.
These people are hardly ever from the same branch of the soul family tree as you, but they’re people you love and trust.
Group 3: People you share karma with
These are people that either you owe, or who owe you, from previous lives.
You incarnate together in subsequent lives so you have an opportunity to redress the balance.
Group 4: People from the opposing team in the game of life
These are people that have been positioned around you to try to prevent you achieving your mission.
(Watch the video below to find out more about the Game of Life.)
So, who are the people closest to you?
Surprisingly, the people closest to you are hardly ever from your soul family.
That’s because you tend to be similar, so in terms of making sure your group has a good mix of skills, it doesn’t make too much sense to pair you up.
It can happen, but it’s rare.
In fact, the people you’re closest to tend to come from the other three groups.
So you can already see something interesting here.
Just because you’re close to someone in this earthly dimension, doesn’t mean you’re close to one another at soul level.
Instead, it could be that there’s karma to repay or they’re a ‘malicious actor’ whose intention is to throw you off course.
In these cases, it’s guaranteed that they only ever intended to stick around until they’d done what they came to do.
Breaking away from parents and partners
Parents
This is true even of parents, in fact, it can be especially true of parents.
I’m conducting a survey of spiritual awakeners right now, and a staggering 89% say they had a difficult relationship with either their mother or father.
(Find out more about the spiritual awakening survey in this blog post.)
That’s an indication that one of their parents may well have been placed in their environment by a team wanting to throw them off track.
Partners
People who are going through awakenings are also often paired with ‘keepers’ (that’s the term used in the higher dimensions).
A keeper provides a stable environment while the awakener’s going through the early to mid stages of awakening.
This is usually up until just after the spiritual Dark Night of the Soul.
The keeper is often a partner and this relationship tends to break up in the later stages of awakening.
Even if you’ve been together for a long time and were once madly in love.
Keepers often come from outside of your closest soul group and have karma to repay.
That’s one of the reasons why, as you progress through your awakening, you often start to see your partner with completely new eyes.
You realise maybe you don’t have so much in common after all.
It’s very common for romantic partnerships to end when one half is going through a spiritual awakening.
Losing friends during spiritual awakening is planned and intended
The friends and family you lose during your awakening were only ever planned to be with you for a specific period of your journey.
When the time is right for you to move apart, the universe makes it increasingly difficult for you to remain close.
It can engineer arguments and rifts, or make one party – including yourself – behave badly, so the relationship breaks down seemingly irretrievably.
If this has happened to you, try not to feel sad about it, or guilty if you feel you could have done more to save the relationship.
You couldn’t.
It was planned for you to move on.
The longer you try to preserve the relationship, the worse things get.
One way or another, the universe is going to split you up!
You can think of groups of souls incarnating together as a series of giant cogs turning.
These social circles are dynamic, things change, and that’s correct, it’s how it’s supposed to be, because your needs change during your journey.
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How does the does the universe know it’s time to move you away from certain people?
This is where the idea of growth comes in.
During your awakening you’ve done a lot of work on yourself and you’re also integrating with your higher self which has raised your vibrations.
Like calls to like.
So as your vibrations increase, and the vibrations of those around you stay the same, there’s a dissonance.
The frequencies are no longer harmonious, and the universe is always seeking harmony and balance.
It’s going to steer you towards people and situations which are more aligned to your new energetic pattern.
All this feels very difficult, because the ‘human’ part of ourselves likes stability and resists change.
But if you take a really good look at these relationships you’ve lost, you’ll often see that you weren’t giving each other what you needed by the end.
There’s 3 reasons why losing friends during spiritual awakening is a good thing
This might seem like a strange statement, but I promise you that losing friends during spiritual awakening is beneficial.
Leaving relationships behind that you’ve outgrown is good for you for three main reasons.
Reason One:
Firstly, losing friends during spiritual awakening allows you to isolate during its deepest throes.
During the Connection stage, the Spiritual Dark Night of the Soul, and the first part of the Advanced Learning stage, Isolation is important.
(Read this blog post to learn about the 7 stages of spiritual awakening.)
Your vibrational rate is going up and down like a yo-yo and doesn’t stabilise until the later part of Advanced Learning.
This makes you super-sensitive to other people and the external environment, and not always in a good way.
It can all get too much.
You also have a very different understanding of the universe and what our lives are supposed to be like.
You realise we’re all one and everything is founded in love.
But the majority of people around you haven’t caught up to that idea yet.
And when you’re in the unstable state which occurs in these 3 middle stages of awakening, that can be upsetting.
So being isolated at this time is actually a blessing in disguise.
Plus you need to rest – a lot.
Your system is being upgraded, so sleep is vital.
So again, being removed from your usual circles, makes space for you to focus on self-care.
Reason Two:
The second reason that losing friends during your awakening is beneficial, is it allows you to focus on discovering your purpose.
That means turning inwards.
You need to understand who you are fundamentally as a person, dig deep into your soul nature and uncover some of your past life history, so you can work out why you came.
(Read this blog post to discover how to find your purpose.)
You have to remember that these other people around you are not waking up, they’re just getting on and living their lives in a human way.
But you will have reached a stage where you don’t want to go to the pub, or stop for a burger, or go to the club.
Because you understand that these are just temporary pleasures which don’t contribute anything to your purpose.
And in the mid to late stages of awakening, you become very purpose driven.
So being able to leave all of that behind allows you to focus.
By the way, it’s important that we don’t fall into the trap of feeling we’re ‘better’ than other people because we have this new found awareness.
(This trap is called ‘spiritual arrogance‘.)
We’re not, we’re just on a different type of journey.
Reason Three:
The third reason it’s helpful to lose friends during awakening is that you’re making room for new ones.
In fact, you’ve probably observed that you’ve become closer to a couple of people who were previously only on the outskirts of your circle of friends, since your awakening.
These are members of your soul group, who were waiting in the wings, for you to be ready for them.
It’s never the people you think!
They may well also be going through a spiritual awakening, or at least be spiritually minded.
Or perhaps you’ve made a couple of new friends who are more vibrationally aligned to you.
If you haven’t met them yet, they’re just around the corner, or maybe they’ve already made an approach but you didn’t follow up.
(You should look into that.)
The universe rarely leaves us completely isolated
The universe almost always makes sure there’s someone to support us at every stage of the journey, unless it’s teaching us a lesson about being alone or self-sufficiency.
Sometimes there’s a bit of a crossover period when old friends have fallen away but the new ones haven’t arrived yet.
And that feels particularly hard, especially because this extraordinary thing is happening to you, and you have no-one you feel you can share it with.
So if you’re feeling completely alone right now, rest assured, it’s temporary.
What to do if you’re feeling alone during spiritual awakening
If you’ve lost friends and family and new people haven’t arrived in your life yet, there’s a couple of things you can do.
First of all, have faith.
Believe that the universe has your back and you will find your true tribe soon.
Secondly, put it out there.
Ask the universe to send you support
If you’re awakening, you’re a powerful manifester!
This is an opportunity to test your skills.
Thirdly, use your situation as an opportunity to understand how soul groups and earthly relationships work.
When you look back at the friendships you’ve lost, can you see a pattern?
Was there karma there?
Learning how to interpret the dynamics between yourself and the people you meet on your journey will help you in the future.
I promise you, however much it hurts now, one day you’ll be able to look back and see that everything happened exactly as it was supposed to.
Hi Sophia- thanks so much for writing this post, it is so useful, thank you. I have been going through an awful time for the last two years, which is really reaching peak intensity right now, and it feels like all my core relationships are crumbling, most painfully of which are my core familial relationships. I’ve been fighting it and fighting it, and not sure what to do, but I’m now starting to think this really could all be part of a spiritual awakening. I actually considered this early on in my overall experience, and wondered if I was going through the dark night of the soul, but then I went away from the idea. But now things are reaching such intensity, I’m really starting to think this could be it. The question I have for you (if you are hopefully still looking at this page) is- do you end up getting these familial relationships back after the whole process is over? Or do you really then live without any contact, or at least closeness, with your family? On one hand, I can understand from your post, and from other things I’ve read, that the breakdown of relationships needs to happen so new things can enter that are more aligned to you. But on the other hand, I could never have imagined I would end up living my life without contact/closeness with my family, and this does not seem natural to me. And surely all the great spiritual figures of the past had relationships with their family, like Ghandi etc. I would really appreciate any comment you or anyone could give. With great thanks, Anna
Hi Anna, I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. It is definitely possible to return to these relationships once you’ve taken time away, however the way you relate will probably be different. If it’s time for you to step away then the universe can rather pile it on until you do. In some ways it’s good to get ahead of the situation and tactically withdraw so you retain a bit of control over the situation (white lies are perfectly acceptable if you need to invent an excuse). It does sound as though you’re in the early stages of awakening. Stepping back will probably create the conditions you need to move to the next stage, which automatically means you’ll start reframing some, if not all, of your relationships. This was one of the hardest bits of awakening for me. I pulled away from everyone for a while but now I am close again with some people, although a much smaller number. Also I’ve met new people who are more aligned. My best advice would be, follow the signs but don’t burn any bridges, and invest in your awakening by giving yourself permission to focus on yourself for a while. Daily meditation will help.
Howdy Sophia, I also appreciate your videos, writings and explanations of what the heck I am going through. Having gone through the dark night of the soul a few months back its important for people to understand what is happening. I literally thought I was dying. My awakening started happening about 15 years ago, I guess it takes some of us longer than others but looking back I can see how much healing my soul needed and things to be learned. 2022 I moved closer to my sister and Mama to care for them, they had both gotten ill at the same time. March 2023, my sister died suddenly, followed by Mama seven days later; those short, long seven days leading up until my mama’s last breath catapulted me; I literally felt my mama’s intertwined heartbeat leave mine (I didn’t understand what was happening) long story short once they both died anything and anyone connected to that belief system that went with them died too. Family members, life long friends and close friends either I cut off or they left. (just like you said) At one point in the process, I experienced giant white wings coming out of my back and encasing me with comfort. Now that they died, I am free to share my life experience in all truth and love without trying to protect them in the process. (my dad and sister sexually, emotionally, and physically abused me) Mama did nothing to stop them. It was because of my healing that I was able to forgive them and love them all the way home. Your videos gave me hope again, and I better understand why I have no one left in my life. The unknown future feels exciting and brighter. Thank you, much love Joycee (sorry for being so long-winded; believe it or not, this was the short version) (: I am a life coach but put everyone on the back burner taking this past year off to heal my grief.
Hi Joycee, thank you so much for sharing. It sounds as though you’ve had a tough journey, which tells me you’re very strong. If you’ve completed the Spiritual Dark Night of the Soul then practicing ‘Always-on Awareness’ would be a good next step for you, if you’re not already doing so. This means aiming to maintain a state of mindfulness 100% of the time. Please let me know how your journey progresses. With love, Sophia
Hi Sophia, I cannot thank you enough for writing this post! Sending lots of Love and gratitude ♥️
I have been reflecting on the friendships in my life and have noticed a pattern since childhood literally! No kidding my best friend from kindergarten that we felt a strong connect with even at that age moved to a different country in grade 3. We got in touch after passing School , met once too but A lot had changed from his side. Sadly I felt the same and was deeply hurt. I still feel there was something there.
Some friends have exited due to conflicts, betrayals, or physical distance that makes it challenging to connect. In some cases, mistakes were made on both sides, but only my errors seemed to be remembered and held against me.
I have often felt misunderstood and continue to experience this feeling. Some individuals are quick to judge, preoccupied with their own lives. I somewhat miss the absence of those deep, meaningful friendships.
Every friend I have grown close to as a best friend eventually drifts away. It leaves me contemplating why this happens and if I am at fault. I cannot fake or be someone I am not.
It’s been 29 years now and I feel it’s a viscous circle that I’m stuck in.
Apologies for the huge message but I really felt like connecting 😊
Thank you for listening!
Hi Sophia, I cannot thank you enough for writing this post! Sending lots of Love and gratitude ♥️
I have been reflecting on the friendships in my life and have noticed a pattern since childhood literally! No kidding my best friend from kindergarten that we felt a strong connect with even at that age moved to a different country in grade 3. We got in touch after passing School , met once too but A lot had changed from his side. Sadly I felt the same and was deeply hurt. I still feel there was something there.
Some friends have exited due to conflicts, betrayals, or physical distance that makes it challenging to connect. In some cases, mistakes were made on both sides, but only my errors seemed to be remembered and held against me.
I have often felt misunderstood and continue to experience this feeling. Some individuals are quick to judge, preoccupied with their own lives. I somewhat miss the absence of those deep, meaningful friendships.
Every friend I have grown close to as a best friend eventually drifts away. It leaves me contemplating why this happens and if I am at fault. I cannot fake or be someone I am not.
It’s been 29 years now and I feel it’s a viscous circle that I’m stuck in.
Apologies for the huge message but I really felt like connecting 😊
Thank you for listening!
~ Sam
Hi Sam, thanks for sharing. Are you awakening? If so, I’m sure your tribe will show up soon. Meanwhile, be proud of how strong you are